Happenings…

I’m back!!  Back in the saddle!!  Back and ready to blog my thoughts to the world!! For those of you who’ve wondered where I’ve been and what I’ve been doing, here’s a quick rundown:

Grad School – Going well.  Just finished the semester, with A’s!  Oh yeah, high five!  I’m very much enjoying the subject matter of my study which is interactive art and aesthetics.

From The Branch – We’ve done a couple of gigs this year, one in Georgia and one in Arizona.  So fun!!  We always love getting out there and hanging out with our friends across the US of A.  (Shelly and Brian, I’m talking to you specifically)

First Time Home Ownership – Whew!!!  This one is a doozy!  The 2nd day I had a mini-panic attack.  I think all first time home owners have this moment.  It’s that moment where you realize for the first time that you don’t know how to do anything!!  For years, I’ve simply had a phone number.  This number is a security blanket.  When such-n-such breaks, I call the number and things magically get fixed, POOF!!  Oh the land of renting…the land of blissful ignorance…

As of move in day, there is NO MORE NUMBER.  If something breaks, it’s my problem.  But!!!  I’m handling it, slowly, one minor headache at a time.  And the truth is, I love it! It sucks and it’s great. We got the Washer/Dryer today and that’s a blast!! We’ve got some furniture coming Sat so you know, we’re getting there.

BABY – As most of you know, we’re not finding out the sex until delivery.

We’ve opted for the maximum amount of emotion velocity in the delivery room.  We might even wait until she’s at 6 centimeter’s before we head to the hospital just to crank that velocity up a couple more notches.  You know how we do. But we’re rocking along on the nursery.  Lots of Yellows, greens, neutrals.  Personally, I can’t wait to meet this kid.  He/she is going to be a blast (with crazy dark hair)!

Hey look, it’s two progress pics of the house…

1. The Den – the TV is too small for the space and won’t fit on the mount provided… darn

2. Who loves a nursery?

FATHERHOOD Part 1

Most of you know by now but for those who don’t, Courtney and I are preparing to have our first child.

WOW!!  It still feels weird to say that!!

It’s not that saying that bothers me, it’s just weird.  For some reason I had a perspective that I may not ever have kids, based on my age (not that I’m old, People!!) and Court and I’s career choices, choices that to some extent make having a family difficult.

Or, let’s not say difficult.  Let’s say challenging.  Cause let’s be honest, people like challenges far more than they like difficulty, though they are often the same thing.

But now, we’re four months along and S_%T is starting to get real…

Today for the first time, I spoke to our baby.  Through mama’s belly, of course.  According to Courtney, Little Bear can hear us now…oh, brief rabbit trail:  That’s it name at this point.  Little Bear.  Story – when we had our first sonogram we were surprised by the unusual view we got of this peanut-sized bundle of joy.  Most folks get the side view, or what I call ‘The Dinosaur’ because of the little tail thing at the end.  But for some reason, our little ‘guy’ gave us a full frontal and as such it appeared to us that it had four little paws!!!

Needless to say, the first thing out of Courtney’s mouth was, “OMG!  Look at that Little Bear!!”  So now, it’s our Little Bear.

Anyway back to belly talk.  So Court and I were talking and I leaned over and said, “Hey Little Bear, it’s your dad.  Don’t know if you can hear me, but I’m here.”

I don’t know if you can here me…but I’m here.

In that moment, something new kicked in.  Some new catharsis about myself, my identity.

I am a Father

I am a Son.

I am a…husband.

Oddly similar, don’t you think?  Now, before you reach the conclusion that I’m referring to myself as God, hang with me!!  That’s not what I’m saying.

Many dad’s my argue with me here, but I don’t think I’m wrong when I say that that similarity is not a coincidence.  What an example the Fathers love of the Son is in understanding the role of ‘raising up’ for those of us about to embark.

To understand what it means to, “love the child” we can look directly at the model of the father’s love for us.  And HOW OFTEN does he whisper, “I don’t know if you can here me…but I’m here” to me.  And how often do I ignore him, or pretend that I can’t hear?

I’m beginning to think that I am an infant in the womb of the world.  God whispers to us through the shell of this life to say, “I’m here.  I’m your Dad.  I love you.”  And through the screaming and twisting and pang of birth, the passage from sleep to life, He is never far.

And neither can I be.

That is something I’m sure one cannot understand until those words come from your mouth for the first time and you realize that above all else, love the child, the way that He first loved us.

To be continued…